just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
