White coat. Heels.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
