fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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