Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
