ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
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