I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
