3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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