Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
