Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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