YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
