I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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