she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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