matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
