I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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