I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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