I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
