Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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