Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
