isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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