girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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