His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
