not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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