your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
