Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
