New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
