so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
