She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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