what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I wear drunk well.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
