I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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