In the future we'll all be gay
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
vagina is talking i cant
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
