I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
