apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
not ubering you a puppy
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
