Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
