It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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