Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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