i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
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