I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
