i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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