I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
