Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
