in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
