Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
i out mim tonsoeep
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
