Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
