threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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