Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
