he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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