bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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