dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
