If that was your dad, he is hot
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
