she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Just cropdusted the office
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
