On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
