All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
