She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
